Sebastien Christmas
guys, I went back to my old cranky self. In the last article, "Solution to the Global Crisis", I tried to be serious, and it was essentially a disaster. So, back to my basics, which means you laugh with my grouchiness.
Christmas is coming very soon. for many of you, it means quality time with your family, surrounded by gifts, happiness and family. But for me, I never really understood this mess. I always had the feeling that it was a big lie. Let me explain.
when I was four when my mother started us build and decorate the Christmas tree, I had serious doubts as the existence of these guys (both Jesus and Santa Claus). first she told me that we were building the house of Jesus, that kind of fake plastic cave under the tree we call "crib" and where the entire family of Jesus is alive half naked and surrounded by a mini-zoo. First, I asked my mother why all these people inside the cave looked like Mohammed, Ahmed and Rachida, not as my sister and me. She told me that Bethlehem was located in a very hot place where some Arab people lived. Honestly, I'm more confused. What was the relationship between a guy in North Pole build my electric train and all the Arabs in this small cave under my Christmas tree? Finally, the only answer I am far was, "Seb, why the hell do you always wonder if a lot of questions? Just spray fake snow on the tree and be silent."
Thus, at the age of five, I was already very insecure. Perhaps I was already very intelligent or not easy to be deceived. Thus, for 1977 Christmas, I decided not to sleep and wait for that old bloody man dressed in his red pajamas. I had some crucial questions for him. I remember that our house was very quiet and I waited for my sister to sleep to escape my room and sit next to the fireplace in our living room. Everyone was asleep. I'm sure I would finally talk to this old man and he would explain clearly whether he was a cousin, or boss, or I do not know, the Arab tribe of clay at the bottom of my tree. I was a young child and of course I fell asleep, but in the middle of my sleep, I was awakened by strange noises. My heart rate went from 0 to 500 beats per minute. It was coming! Finally, I would be the one who had talked to this guy. At first I was a little surprised that the guy came through the door and not whether our giant fireplace. Then I saw a shape or a shape very strange in the dark, walking in the direction of the shaft. This guy does not seem so old, but at least something is true; he wore tons of things in his arms. Until that time, I was very surprised and excited.
But the guy went straight to the floor lamp and lit throughout the living room. I got up and jumped right to be 5 to 35 years in a matter of seconds I could see my father in his underwear with a bunch of stuff. I just said, "Dad," and he fell ill on the floor with all present. He looked at me and was furious. He just said, "What are you doing here Seb?" And I replied, "Waiting for Santa, Dad." He suddenly being an angry man in a smooth middle-aged guy who was caught with another woman by his wife. He is came close and sat next to me. "Seb, Santa Clause is too busy at the moment and could not offer to everyone at the time, so he asked me to help a little. He left these in front of the living room door. "
My father seemed very satisfied with his explanation for being nice told him.." OK "
I left the room and that day, I knew I would never believe again my mother or my father. the next morning, we opened all the presents around 7am. my sister was super excited, but not me. my parents watched me all the "open time now" their eyes, saying, "If you say a word to your sister, you will be punished for the next 20 years" I shut up and I pretended through Jesus, Santa Claus, deer, cows, sheep, Maria, Joseph and all the tribe. But that day was certainly the beginning of my great grumpiness.
Every year my stepfather wonder if I will join with the whole family to celebrate Christmas and every year I reply with the same answer. "Sorry Dad, can not. I have to help an old friend of mine here to achieve certain things under a tree!"
Merry Christmas!