I Hate Valentine's Day

I Hate Valentine's Day -

 

0

 

 

 

 

 

This is the stupidest dates wrong on earth! When I was a teenager in Europe, it did not even exist (or maybe he did, but I did not notice). We're not used to celebrate this date, although it essentially comes from the Roman Empire. Then, when I'm 20 or something like that, America sent us this "date" as they sent MacD, Halloween, George Bush, Donald Trump and many other things that we could not invent ourselves !

Basically it makes flower shops, happy and well suited restaurants in this mess harass us with special dinner deals and discounts other flowers. The result is that we feel is guilty if we only buy flowers and arrange a candlelit dinner or feel sad and miserable if we do not have someone to buy flowers. Not to mention having a single dinner surrounded by hundreds of couples who whisper, "Honey, look the only guy with the red jug of wine." Because yes, if you are alone in the restaurant that day, the whole world is complaining you!

For singles, it ends up being a sad and solitary evening in front of the TV watching "The Bachelor Season 28". At this point, you even prefer to be the brain vacuum bachelor, James, giving the roses a dozen girls who are sick chicken IQ! Then you finally go to bed and some stupid friends will still send some ridiculous BBM or SMS messages to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. at this point, you decide to finally open the old single malt that you hide for special occasions. Then you drink and you drink until the "wives" (the bachelorettes french) even seem to have a brain when they explain to James, "Sweet Heart, death is a terrible thing, you know. James, I hope one day I'll have 20 children. James, I like the way you wax your shoes. James, salmon is cooked through. James, have you read this amazing book called the Bible? "

Then you continue to drink your whiskey and go to HBO. Fantastic, they screened the story" Noting Hill "where Julia Robert falls in love with a bookstore. An idea comes to mind everything suddenly. what chance do I have that Julia Roberts was driving his car alone in a suburb of Yogjakarta, gets engine trouble in his new Porsche and walking in the middle of rice field to finally reach my green gate to ask help? I do not even talk about falling in love with me half drunk dressed with my t-shirt printed "Bakso Malang Aku Suka!" One chance in 6 billion ... last I hate this movie, too.

But you are another category people in couples who are really expecting something big for this bloody day I must say that those who expect something amazing ladies are essentially as.. for us men, we are stupid enough to forget even our own birthdays or other anniversaries so there's not much chance we will remember Feb. 14. The men return to the half-drunk pub at 20:30, remove their shoes, go to the bathroom five times to evacuate eight beers and fix like a dead goat on the couch. They pass on the television, open another beer and start checking if their football team has (PSG in my case, Paris Saint Germain, of course). Then, after ten minutes, they go for another beer and switch channels to check the BBC news. Already half an hour has passed since their return home. Suddenly, they wonder why children are not there and why their own wife did not show up to yell at them to ... well, on many details that only women care about. Then the lovely lady BBC mentions Valentine and suddenly they wake up in   panic and curse 200 times.

They are no more drink at all. In good men, they begin to find easy and difficult solutions like stealing the plant neighbor in the hallway, throwing five liters of beer for decent breath, designing a heart with candles on the floor (and position factory stolen middle) and write "I love you" and "Happy Valentine's Day" on the mirror in the bathroom with their shaving foam. As the latter solution seems to be the easiest and cheapest, they run to the room and it expects a disaster! The beautiful woman waiting at the corner of the bed, dressed like a princess, crying like a teenager who was not invited to a college party. At this point the guy, he's dead and super dead and more deaths. You can not get on your knees to apologize and receive a cinema-style slap. And the next day, after sleeping the wonderful night on the couch, you go directly to Cartier or another expensive brand shop and spend a fortune.

In both cases, alone or in pairs, it will end in disaster. I will only celebrate if and only Julia Roberts to my door 14. But the best she calls first.

 

0